Entry Eight: Do I always give my best?
Sometimes in prayer, the Lord loves to humble me. Do I enjoy it when the Lord does this? Not really. If I am being completely honest, it hurts most of the time. But do I need it? One thousand percent—I need those moments. I need to understand the moments when I am not giving it my all. I need to recognize when I am choosing my own will over the Lord’s will for my life. I need to see those moments when correction must take place and how the Lord desires me to act in certain situations. I need to understand the times when I failed to act as charitably as I should have and what must be done differently in the future.
Prayer is the place where I recognize this loving correction from the Lord. It is in prayer that the Lord reveals his love to me and how he desires me to act by relying on his grace and not my own will. It is also the recognition of how the Lord has blessed me and the acknowledgment that God constantly desires me to be open to receiving his love so that he can use me in the way he truly desires.
However, if I am not praying well, then I will not be living well. Whether I live my life to the best of my ability and give it my all depends greatly on my prayer life and my relationship with God. If I fill my time of prayer with other things—such as what needs to be done today, or how I am going to handle a certain meeting—how will I hear what the Lord desires to say to me? If my prayer life consists only of thinking about my own concerns and how I plan to handle them, then I have left no room for God to intercede. I have not allowed the Lord to speak to me in that moment about my concerns and what has been affecting my heart.
Essentially, in order to give my best, I must be willing to let God help me. I must be willing to share my problems with the Lord and give him time to respond to my concerns. If I am not willing to listen, what is the point of even going to prayer? I can do mental exercises and problem-solving at my desk. I do not need to go before the tabernacle in the church to do that.
The good news is that we are only halfway through the Lenten season, and this is the perfect time to allow the Lord to help me grow in my relationship with him—by thanking the good Lord for this gentle reminder about prayer and putting it into action. By allowing God time to respond to the movements, desires, and concerns of my heart.
I always want to do my best in ministry and in life as well, but Lent has given me the chance to examine my life and seriously ask, “Am I doing my best every day?” God allows these opportunities to humble his children because they are moments where we can grow and develop. We come to understand our own weaknesses and our reliance upon the one who loves us.
I know this is not easy, because who enjoys being corrected? But I know it is necessary.
Thank you, Lord, for always searching for me—for always pursuing me and always desiring me to grow in a deeper relationship with you. Help me through the rest of this Lenten season to take the time to listen to your voice in my life. Make my heart attentive in understanding how you desire me to act each day. Thank you for those moments of correction that help me to live my best and fullest life.
Without you, Lord, and your gift of grace, I will always fail. But with your constant guidance and love, I can do all things because it is you who strengthens me.