I remember when I was in high school and a young adult—my Wandering Years, as I call them—I never really stood up for my faith. I attended a Catholic high school. Everyone was nominally Catholic, but we were by no means what I would consider “disciples of the Lord.” Almost everyone was Catholic, and all of our families would attend Mass on Sundays, but the faith was not my own. I never claimed it as my own. I knew God existed, and I knew Jesus truly existed, but I was not ready to give my life to Him. When I hear these words from today’s Gospel, “Everyone who acknowledges me before others I will acknowledge before my Heavenly Father. But whoever denies me before others, I will deny before my heavenly Father,” my mind immediately goes back to my Wandering Years.
There were certain moments I can distinctly remember from high school when other students made fun of the faith—the same faith that I grew up in and loved. I remember my conscience telling me that I should say something and tell them to stop. I also remember that I did not listen to my conscience. I sat there on the edge of the circle laughing, desiring to fit in. Wanting to be liked by others was much more important to me than standing up for the truth. Hearing this Gospel makes me think of those moments.
I used to look back at my old self with much disappointment, thinking, “How could I ever do such a thing?” There used to be a lot of sadness when I looked back at my younger self, but through God’s grace and gentleness I have learned to be patient with my former self. I did not know what I know now. I was a very broken young person looking for acceptance. As much as I despised my former actions and self, the Lord has helped me to see my old self as He sees me. This has led to a great deal of healing in my life. I have learned to love my younger and dumber self—not because of the sinful lifestyle I was living, but because without my faults and failings I would not be who I am today. The Lord loved me despite my sin, and He desired to save me from it.
Our Lord’s words should serve as a great warning to all of us. Our Lord desires faithfulness. Our Lord desires devotion. Our Lord desires children. Acknowledging the Lord in the midst of the world has unfortunately become a heroic virtue. I say unfortunately because we used to live in a time when whole neighborhoods were Catholic, but that is not the case anymore. As Catholics, we are becoming the minority. Acknowledging the Risen Lord in public is becoming a heroic virtue. You might be ridiculed, and you might be confronted, but it will be well worth it when the Lord acknowledges you before His Heavenly Father as one of His own.
Utilize God’s gift of Himself in the Holy Spirit and remain faithful. If you fail, as I have in the past, repent and receive mercy. Never try to justify the action, because I cannot imagine that conversation going well before the Lord. God will forgive you just as He forgave Peter. What is amazing is that Peter would not have been the same pope if he had not denied the Lord. Through His loving mercy, the Lord changed Peter’s life forever and made him into a new vessel, confident in God and not in himself. The Lord wants us to trust in Him, not ourselves, for this is the only way in which we can truly stand up for Truth, who is God.
